How long can a person use the excuse "We just moved in"?
In all honesty, with 7 moves in 9 years we are constantly in flux.
"What's that box doing there in the corner?" Um, it's either the photo albums we haven't unpacked yet or the dish towels that I just packed for our next move.
"Where do you keep your blender?" Let's see, I think it's under the island. Wait, no that was the house in California. I think I keep the blender above the stove in this house. Shit, do I even have a blender? Maybe the movers lost it.
Last night, six weeks into our latest move, I stumbled upon a Blog Photo Tour of Homes. I was supposed to be stripping wallpaper in the sunroom, but I decided to grab my camera and participate instead. Since I had all of the old real estate listing photos, I decided to make this a Before and After photo tour.
Does eastern North Carolina look as boring as it feels?
FRONT OF HOUSE- I spent $300 at the nursery last week trying to liven up the front of the house. Plant nursery of course, since you don't see babies perched on my rooftop. Once I finished dumping the 12th bag of mulch into the planting beds, a stray white cat came up and crapped in between the flowers. Turns out I spent two weeks worth of grocery money on a giant litter box.
KITCHEN- The bottom picture is unpacking day. I will swear to you in a court of law that my kitchen only looks like this on unpacking day...and whenever I try to cook dinner. When we purchased the house we knew we were going to have to buy a fridge when we moved in. All the other appliances conveyed. I really wanted a fancy fridge, a NON WHITE fridge. Yet, all I needed was a cold box to store milk, juice boxes, apples, several varieties of cheese and a colder box on the other side to store ice cream and veggie burgers. So, I trotted off to Lowe's and bought a WHITE fridge. Within a week it was determined that our WHITE dishwasher was below par. Off to Lowe's I went to buy a WHITE dishwasher to match our new WHITE fridge. Last week I was preparing an upside down blueberry/plum cake and started the timer on the WHITE microwave. BEEP BEEP BEEP! 40 minutes. Start! I slid the cake into the oven and walked away.
Twenty five minutes later the kids were calling for me "Maaaa....something smells funny!"
"Don't make fun of my baking or I'll make you eat some!" I replied.
And then I smelled it too. The aroma of mishap that so often fills my house. Turns out that instead of pushing TIMER START, I just pushed START. ON AN EMPTY MICROWAVE. I microwaved a glass turntable tray into oblivion and left a scorched hole in the bottom of the microwave. Guess who will be going to Lowe's on payday to buy yet another WHITE appliance.I could've gotten away with a stainless steel fridge and white dishwasher/stove/microwave. I probably could've even pulled off a stainless steel dishwasher with a white fridge/stove and microwave, but I just don't know if I can swing a stainless steel microwave when I have a white fridge/stove/dishwasher.
I have also resorted to covering my counter tops with glass cutting boards. The real estate listing stated "New solid granite counter tops!" However, they are psuedo granite wannabe countertops that can't withstand heat of any kind. In fact, I am mildly surprised that the radioactive blast from the microwave didn't cause them to warp. I can't even stand near them when I have a fever for fear they might bubble.
DINING ROOM- Before shot on top. It was nice enough in that sort of "please don't eat spaghetti in the dining room" kind of way. The inexpensive brass...no, I won't call it a chandelier- wait, I know what to call it- a chandeLIAR... looked so tiny compared to our table, like it was shining down on us from another dimension, one where 40 watt bulbs are so bright they need to be covered by little shades. I bought the new fixture, but left the old curtains. I'm not sure why. They don't cover anything. The windows all look out onto the street, so until I perfect my table manners we won't be eating spaghetti in there either.
FAMILY ROOM/DEN/LIVING ROOM/TV ROOM- Before picture on the bottom. We don't know what to call this room. The old owners probably referred to it as the "oddly matched chair room" and oddly enough we have a chair similar to one of theirs that we put in the same corner. Guess we could call it the Odd Room.
REST OF THE HOUSE NOT AVAILABLE FOR VIEWING UNTIL WE SELL THIS HOUSE IN TWO YEARS. IT SHOULD BE UNPACKED BY THEN!